Hey everyone I wanted to make this blog to show you what I luv to do as far as crafting and and also other amaizing things I do with my family I also might start posting show notes of the YouTube podcast that I make for my knitting adventures and all the good things that comes within that I also have to say that I am enjoying this community a whole lot I never thought there were so many wonderful people out here I have to say thank you to those that subscribe to my channel and for those who are just checking my channel subscribe hit like is free and lets join each other in this amaizing community I can’t wait to share all these fun things I will be making or getting into.
here you have a women who has mood swings and a bit of a hard personality to be with but a women that is loyal and gives the world to the men she desides to let in her world so here goes she had left a previous relationship that was toxic and a 11 years relationship and thought the world ended for her she never this person would do what she did to her and she thought he was everything to her after so many years in the relationship she then gets engage any who it did not work out she started drinking and just felt like their was something wrong with her she thought she was awful or just didnt look good she also thought that her skin condition psoriasis was the cause of their breakup or what ever she then had a friend who ment everything to her who she confy everything she was feeling and she felt so comfortable speaking to her best friend who she had a relationship as brothers but then he to was hurt by his babymother and she left him for someone else so we was both broken but i was destroyed shattered and confuse and as the drinks got worst in her life her friend came through and they cry together and shed all the details of their mischieves but then one day she and the friend kinda mix things together the truth is she was not ready for a new relationship and things kinda move so fast and she didnt want to have a tittle or didnt want noone to know what was going on because she was still hurt because of her previous relationship it was hard for her but as time past her friend proove that he was so into her in a menly way and she was not ready for everyone to know yet so they drank together and she then got comfortable with him but still didnt want no tittle then they started working in catering for the jewish people and everything was so cute the laugh the smiles the hugs on the low and all the weird emotions that came with it then he got jelouse because people at the job were trying to get with her or ask her out and he just blur it out oh we seeing each other i was shock because i wanted to be ready and then state the fact but anywho he slept in the living room and he would wait till her kids go to sleep and sneak in her room and yeah you know the rest but it was so cute the adrenalin of us seeing each other in the low and all the butterflies and everything it was so cute but you know their he goes telling people that we was together when in reality we wasnt but okay that happened later down the line my son found out and he was okay with it because this person been in my life for 23 years and we always spoke in facebook and on the phone as well so he thought it was cute but at the same time i was not ready for a full on relationship but he convince me so i gave in i still didnt want him sleeping in my room but he then work his way to the room and boom it was so cute the love the butterflies and all the night dinners i mean he treated her kids super nice and he is a family type of guy and he swore he would never hurt me and so i try to believe him and so time past and i have to say he makes me happy the kids love him and everything well it so happened that as a female we have this thing called six sence and thats something that never fails us so yeah for a couple of days something kept bothering me to check his phone and so i gave in and their it was a message from a girl and he replied i was so devastated and hurt because our friendship ment the world to me and i felt betrayed and i was like shock because remember i would never do what your ex did to you blah blah blah right okay my son convince me to forgive him and he swore he would never do it again and that was stupid of him anyways so i gave in a forgive him he block the person and sooner then later we was in a good state again for a while actually and i was so happy i mean i not the type to cheat because i wouldnt want the person to do it to me like is not withing me to those things but then a couple of weeks ago i was so confuse because as you guys notice i workout and i try to keep myself up to look good for me first my kids and of course for my men why not right but then he would forget to pick me up or he was just moving funny you know i try to ignore it because i know that when something starts bothering me their is something going on i also notice how he is on his phone constantly and he gets nervouse when he is sleeping next to me and i move their was this one time i just snatch his phone boy was he mad like give me my phone you gonna mess my game up so he says so i felt something was wrong so i started to not drink my sleeping pills for like three weeks to see where his mind is at i notice him taking a picture next to me but not of us or me just him and i said okay he is gonna send it to me but no that wasnt the case so i just breath and pretend i fell asleep and he continue sending the pic but i didnt get that picture so okay i then notice he would tell me he is outside when i was already inside the house and just this feeling that didnt leave me alone so then i just waited for him to go to sleep and i grab his phone like you dont understant i even got distracted in my phone but this voice in my head kept telling me stop getting distracted and start checking his phone mind you i have a iphone so i dont know how to mess with galaxy phones at all it was hard but then their it was him having numerouse conversations with seven girls and the things he was saying to these girls and the fact that in one of the messages he told a girl that he lived with his cuzzin and that his apartment was getting fix and he had conversations with them while he was next to me and the fact that i thought he wouldnt hurt me i felt like i got a million bricks thrown at me like you ruin our friendship and now our relationship is in jepordy like why and when i ask why i got the stupid answer of that was stupid of me i felt like you wasnt listening to me like really he even told three of the girls if he can be their men like really he even ask for pictures of them and they would send him pictures of their faces but he would ask for pictures of their full body and as i am reading this like im numb i cant even cry like i am just numb i never thought he would do this you know i even ask him a few before all this is their something i should know and he would tell me no babe their is nothing i need out there i have everything here at home your wonderful i am happy with you wao just imagine how i feel i didnt give my all to start in this relationship because of what i lived before and imagine if i would ve done so like thats crazy wao i still cant believe what he did we are trying to work through this but i dont know i am numb like he is such a sweet heart or so i thought he means the world to me but like i said he was talking to seven women so i dont know what to do but i need time i can asure you that this was a big hit it just dont hurt as much because i didnt give my 100 percent in it i dont know if you understand my mom was shock and the truth the same day i found out i show my mom the messages and she was shocked as well like you dont know she had him on a pedestal like i just dont know what to say but we are trying to work it out he also erase the messages and pictures i took of his chats and then some but when i let him know i show mamy the messages he got so mad he took my phone and deleted them all but by this time i didnt care because my mom already knew what he had done i never cheated then he tried to justify himself saying that my best friend sends me pictures and stuff but this is something he knew already i have no secrets if he ask something i will answer it like thats who i am what you think i should do?
This is what i wanted but thats not what i got
As i look at the person that ask me this question i had to take a breather and think because while this person is worrying about Christmas i am trying to get back into paying all my depts and trying to keep myself from danger things in the world are getting scarry men are kidnapping kids they are also following women and rapping them like i dont even like to go outside alone and while my hubby was out of work for two months we are trying to catch up to our bills while feeding our kids and paying the rent and stuff i believe we should worry about being safe and trying to avoid going home late and try to not be alone in certain areas even though i have manage to get three gifts so far i am not worrying about the rest of the family as much because we have make sure we have a lot of toilet papers and hand towells and have lots of can goods as possible things are getting worse and worse in this world we live in and im sorry if im not stressing Christmas as much but their are things i have to worry about first like my home and my kids thats important and priorities because we dont know what life throws at us and i want to be prepare for it now that hubby is back working and doing his thing we trying to pay all the bills and maintain while doing our day to day things but i will be getting the kids their gifts but not all of them because you have to have a limit and thats important to me i believe those that are close to us will be receiving a little gift from us but we need to safe money and have a budget thats importand do you feel the same way?
so you ever wonder why or where those the day goes. and you don’t know on what you spend the day on or doing. well i couldn’t sleep last night so i was watching YouTube and it suddenly hit me. life is so dame buzzy we don’t get a chance to usah! and yes as a mom things are a bit hectic and all over the place i also started working out so yeah once i get home from working out i shower eat and then off to bed i go. but last night i couldn’t sleep and sometimes i wonder why am i so moody or why i never stop to think and then it hit me. i live such an amazing life. yes i do as crazy as it is with three kids i have a wonderful hubby as well. and was happy to realize that for once i am happy and with no drama what so ever. that i can sleep in piece and wake up in piece. that i cherish everything in my life. i even turned on a candle and made myself a cup of pumpkin spice coffee with cinnamon and watch YouTube and i am living the best life ever. sometimes we have to stop wishing for what we don’t have and enjoy what we do have. the little things to me matter the most. and i just have to let go of the past and let by gone to be bygones. and just breath and take it all in. there are gonna be tuff times and great times but we need to ride it off to better ourselves or to make better choices. i notice that being comfortable is good but not great because then i slack and gain weight and that’s not good for my health and so i started working out to better myself and to focus on the things i can fix not the things i cant fix and to take it day by day but for the most part i am so happy and super exited for this new chapter in my life. i also have two dogs nene and princess and they make me so happy and yeah there is nothing better in life then having a rough food and health to raise my kids i am so happy i notice that i have so much good to thank god and to remember that life is what you make of it like i stated earlier is the little things for me that makes a big difference and that makes me happy.
AS FOR ME IVE BEEN WORKING OUT OR AT LEAST TRYING TO SO THAT I CAN KEEP IN SHAPE AND ALSO BECAUSE IT IS GOOD FOR THE MENTAL HEALTH AND FOR MAKING TIME FOR MYSELF and for putting myself first at least one hour a day so that i can socialize with my friends and it feels so good to work out i feel alife sometimes i kinda be lazy and maybe dont want to go but then i still push myself to go and so i feel alife happy and so motivated to do so it makes me so happy and i enjoy the workouts truth be told the workouts are not easy at all but i try and i stay connected and everyday i try to make better desicions and it is a slow progress but i am active and doing something as oppose to just being in bed all day and letting life pass me by that being said i have try to make a scheduled to post for you guys again i just been a bit stress but i am here and ready for war no just kidding but i need a change to stay active what do you do to stay active i knit and listen to music that keeps me alife and i focus on the bigger picture and so here i am ill post pictures this week of everything i been upto
As for me a nice cup of coffee starts my day and a appointment awaits for me i am feeling energized now and ready for the day ahead i will be cleaning and listening to music and eating healthy and being possitive and reading a book life is great everyone enjoy every day like if its your last but in a safe way and cherish your family and love yourself and if there is something that you dont like about yourself change it baby steps and work twards your goals god is great have a great day everyone